


Yearn

by yumrii



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Jealousy, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Behavior, Some Plot, i felt like it had to be depressing with Nagito involved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:42:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25913053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yumrii/pseuds/yumrii
Summary: Nagito used to wonder who he had to be to be deserving of your love.He accepted the answer ofit doesn't matter, that person just isn't you.
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 85





	Yearn

**Author's Note:**

> Here comes the first chappie of this!
> 
> I'm sorry this turned out so depressing but I just did whatever I felt fit Nagito best.
> 
> Btw, just wanna make it clear, you're only friends with benefits with the other guy (he's left anonymous). So, you're not playing with someone's feelings or anything. 
> 
> The next chapter will contain the smut.
> 
> And, you guys are 18 at least.

  
  
  
  


Confidence isn’t something Nagito Komaeda’s known for. So, when he saw you getting a little friendly with one of your comrades, he wasn’t surprised. Heartbroken, yes, of course, but not surprised.

It shouldn’t have even hurt, it should’ve been a known reality in both his brain and his heart. To expect someone as great as you to take interest in someone as lowly as him is just moronic. Moreover, things would be better that way. If you were to date, his feelings would eventually flick away, he wouldn't have to worry about his bad luck nor getting distracted.

Despite that, he still yearned.

Hope cheered in his chest whenever you even bothered starting a conversation with him. The topic didn’t matter - the fact that you came to him when you could do so with anyone else and have a greater time was enough for him.

Well, correction - it _should’ve_ been enough.

The question of how your lips would feel against his skin still clung to his mind. 

_How would you move your body against his_ was a question he still tried to answer in his dreams.

_How would it feel to be loved by you?_

That never stopped to haunt him daily.

_Your body was snug against him. Soft, bare skin free to fondle and Nagito jumped at the opportunity._

_These dreams only gave him a taste of what he could’ve had - of what could’ve been real._

_He pulled you closer, burying his face into the crook of your neck._

_The skin he “felt” was only a replica of yours, his brain’s desperate attempts to satisfy his selfish, pathetic desires. He knew that, and yet he still craved for it. Fake or not._

_Lips dragged over his skin, then settled at his throat. You kissed at it firstly, sweet and chaste. Slowly but surely, you started sucking, marking him._

**_That’s not gonna be there when I wake up._ **

_Your hands roamed over his body, your touch light, almost ticklish. His nails dug into your velvet skin._ **_More_ ** _, the coat of greed was thick on his demands._ **_More, I want more._ **

_He dragged his fingernails down your back, hands itching to get something of his on you despite the reality of things. The reality of_ **_his_ ** _marks on you are real, his aren’t._

_Your kiss was bittersweet on him, and he didn’t deserve to experience its true charm._

You spoke to him this morning. Everyone was gathered, even _he_ was there, yet you focused on him. No matter how often that happened, he never understood.

A couple of awkward silences spoiled the conversation, and he guessed that it also spoiled your mood. A frown was on your face more often than not. You sighed a lot too.

Nagito felt like he was carrying an anchor on his shoulders for the rest of the day. _  
_

He dreamt of cuddling with you. In that vision, you were smiling at him, eyes tender with adoration.

The next morning, you didn’t speak to him, but the glare of yours spoke many words. 

Whenever he met your eyes, they’d narrow and drill into him.

He wondered what he did to deserve that look. 

Maybe it finally registered in your brain that he wasn’t worth your efforts.

Luckily, he got his answer during leisure.

  
  
  


It was a surprise to hear a knock at his door. One that was a bit sour - he wasn’t in the best state of mind, so he was bound to disappoint even more than usual.

When he opened the door, he choked on his greetings.

“Hey.” You strained a smile and it knocked Nagito back into reality enough to step away to let you in. 

You had visible eye bags and your gaze seemed rather lukewarm. 

A sigh - you did a lot of those recently - and his heart dropped the moment you spoke the next words.

“We need to talk.”

“What do you mean?”

He saw your jaw tighten. “Nagito.”

“I don’t get it.” He hissed those words out. 

The words he feared flew out of your mouth in just a split second, _“You don’t get much, do you?”_

It was like a punch to the gut. Sharp and raw, different from the numbness he usually felt from comments like those.

You flinched, “Fuck - sorry. Uhm, it’s just -” 

You breathed in, then pushed it out heavily. 

“I don’t get much either.”

_Huh?_

You rolled your eyes when he didn’t respond - _what was he even supposed to say to that?_

“At first, you were always so happy whenever we talked. Now, you just seem so, uhm, _distant._ ”

“You ignore me. I don’t know - you used to come to me whenever you could and now it’s the opposite. I mean, I didn’t like it either when you talked to me as if I was some sort of god but… the change’s too drastic.”

“I just want to know, what do you feel about me? You get so confusing sometimes, it’s just…”

You gave up on that last word.

He tamed the sudden rush of words that were ready to escape his throat with a gulp.

He decided to take the easy route.

“What I feel about you? … All I feel is pure love for your potential, the hope you bring out is so great already… I could only imagine the way you’d shine in front of a terrible despair. I don't think words can describe how grateful I am, for someone like me, worthless trash, to - ”

“God - just shut it.” You interrupted his speech.

“I don’t give a shit about my potential - what do you feel about _me_? Also, you say you're grateful - why would you avoid me if you loved my hope so much?” 

_Why?_

While Nagito had good luck, he also had bad luck. An even greater hope would always overcome despair eventually no matter how horrid it is. He has killed with that belief and his luck never ceased to back him up, therefore he had no issue with believing in it.

He had already lost loved ones. Hope adorned those wounds, yes, but he didn't want to risk it. He didn't want to risk losing you, and it didn't matter how great the hope would be afterwards.

Those feelings kindled more of his disdain for himself - _you can't even be a loyal stepping stone for hope, just how useless are you?_ Which only made him think of himself as unworthy of your love. A talented, worthy guy and an untalented, useless one just aren't meant to be, they could never be equals.

Not only that, but a certain question made him want to rip his feelings to shreds. 

_What's more important, hope or you?_ It shouldn't have been a question he stalled on, but it was, and it infuriated him. A part of him almost hated you because of it - you distracted him too much on his goals. He couldn't be useful because of you. 

That was too much to admit however, and so he let a thick silence answer for him.

The hint of disappointment was clear in your stare and for a split second, he regretted his lack of answer. _It's for the best,_ he told himself.

“If it helps, I, uhm - I like you a lot.”

_...What?_

Nagito froze for a moment there before his thoughts went haywire. Two themes of _we could’ve been together,_ and _we shouldn’t have even met_ knocking at each other in his conflicted brain.

You chuckled nervously at what must be his look of disbelief and shock, “That wasn’t obvious?”

_Did this make things better or worse? Should we even be together? Should I give you the cold shoulder? Can I even do this without hurting you?_

_Are you even telling the truth?_

It was pathetic of him to even go along your words - you liked him, really? Such a pitiful reach.

“Nagito. Say something.”

His dilemma was audible as he spoke the next words, voice cracking, “Prove it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god, I really hope this didn't feel OOC;;; 
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!! ❤


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